mattersofscience | Voicemail

My Dear Charles,

I regret my sudden disappearance and hope it has not sown seeds of distrust between us. I have been informed that this is not an uncommon occurrence. Men and women will vanish, and then return at an unknowable time later.

But that is not what I recall. My nightmares returned to me as if caught within a fever dream, but it was no dream. I bear the evidence of my failure in the Arctic anew.

My man Jopson has returned to his former duties as nursemaid. Though, if you could implore him to consider an allowance of freedom outside a bed, I would be forever grateful. I do not do well confined, even during convalescence.

Sincerely,
F. Crozier

My Dear Charles,

I am in dire need of a constitutional, somewhere far from my rooms. And then I recalled a promise to escort you around the Up for new clothes and other necessaries.

Please allow me the pleasure if you are still of a need.

Yours,
F. Crozier

are you free for a walk?
if not tonight then another?

( even though he'll have seen her around the hospital since the quakes he'll have noticed that she hasn't been in the labs at all since )

((OOC: Continue from here))

It's a LIEr bar. You'll be fine. ( But if the man doesn't want to drink, whatever. He's still fucking drinking. A lot by the end of the night, but this first shot of whiskey to start.

Not that the shot does much. It takes time for that shit to kick in. Caden would love to get smashed in that time and deal with the consequences later, but this is already-- him dealing with the consequences. For once. Fuck, he doesn't want to do this. He really fucking wants to let this all go and to never fucking see Charles again. But he can't skip town or go into hiding, because this city is fucking small and you can't fucking escape it.

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

He downs a second shot of whiskey before grabbing a glass of water and forcing his ass onto a stool. He's fidgeting and tearing at his curls still, but at least he's not pacing. )

I don't-- ( do this. ever. A sigh. Come on. You came out here, give him something, asshole. Just like you do with Ro whenever this shit happens. )

...I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say anything until-- until the city forced it out.

( Somehow, that's so much worse, but it's out of his mouth now, so... fuck. )

[ From here ]

I hope you're able to find something, then. And soon! That handsome face isn't meant to frown and look sad, you know.

[ From here ]

[ She's not expecting the answer he gives. Truthfully, Elle wasn't sure what answer he would give, if any. Not that she was expecting him to ignore the question, but even through text, she can read the tone fairly well.

And she's not entirely sure how to respond right away.

The connections she's made in the city have never been focused on the physical aspect of their assignments and reason for being here. She's always believed she's built them from the base of genuine friendship first.

Where Charles feels the uncomfortable twinge, Elle feels that sudden lump in her throat. Her mouth goes dry and she's slightly flushed. Thank goodness this isn't a video chat! ]

What preferences then? Anything you need, of course!

((OOC: Continued from here.))

[It's a lot to take in and think about, when given all at once. She missed the chance to learn how to do this before Duplicity by having closed herself off so completely from those around her. Even her family got less from her than they needed to help her with this. Only Aloïs knew differently and they... Their relationship was entirely different, one built on trust and love deeper than platonic without being romantic. They simply knew each other differently. Dreams, what she wouldn't give to ask for his blunt opinion and feedback on all this now.]

I know some of that already, where it comes to how relationships grow and change. Those aren't something I build on my own, and they never could be. I don't want them to be either, because friendships and partnerships require something more than one person directing another through all the hardships of life.

I still feel as if I should be trying things for myself before I seek help. How can one learn when they don't make the attempt and accept they'll make mistakes? I apologize often, and it's why I spoke of mitigating harms. It's all I can do as I stumble my way to better understanding.

If I do need help from someone, I ask for it. I'm not above admitting I don't know something.

[There's a short pause before another message arrives.] I only ask too late sometimes, because I'm certain I know how to make it through without the help or guidance.

((OOC: Continued from here.))

because youve never mentioned them??
everything here was maudlin or closed off
you DO know what you sound like yeah?
or are you so in the dark about what you sound like?

seriously
when was the last time you did anything BY CHOICE with another person?
whend you last make a new friend
or anything like that???
a REAL connection that was more than just some business or research partnership?
i'll wait

[ Christmas morning, afternoon, and evening, there are deliveries being made, and Elle has plenty to give. Charles is sent a handcrafted pipe and a gold-plated pocket watch, his name engraved inside.

A card is attached that reads: Merry Christmas, Charles. I hope we can spend more time in the new year and beyond. Elle 💗 ]

when you were putting the lab back did you see where my gloves went?
i'll probably have to just get new ones

( she'd been in during the day when he hadn't been in there, having slowly started broaching it with kyle, little moments that she'd grown to trying to re-sort out her section and what she'd kept there. what was still good, anyway. it's the first day since the flooding that she'd been up to it )

a delivery for Charles

To new friends and a chance at something we both enjoy.

[ the finders can be brutal even when they're attempting something in the form of humor. it's something Elle knows well and deeply dislikes when others are dragged through their stinging coals. ]

I'm sure you've gotten plenty of supportive messages after the finder, so just know that I'm adding to them. No one should ever have to change who they are for anyone. You are perfect just as you are.🩷

[ There is a medium-sized black box with crimson ribbon. Attached is a lighter red note with a single name to suggest where it's from: Nathaniel. Inside is a half-dozen chocolate cupcakes. No other context is included. ]

from here

I think it's important for people to get compliments. Reminders of how amazing they are to others. And it's important for you to know just how handsome you are. I particularly like just how intense your expression is. You get a look in your eyes when you're deep in thought and when you smile. Completely different but also the same. And I always appreciate said handsome gentleman with rolled-up sleeves.

[A lot's happened since their last conversation, but it's one that's been weighing heavily on Amelia for the past month. Painting one's self into a corner with labels, belief in who one is, the choices one makes... She could talk to her partners about all this, but she could use the perspective of someone who doesn't feel the need to accept her flaws when looking at her.]

Charles, do you have time to speak on a more private matter? It pertains to our conversation last November. I've had time to reflect on it and related subjects, and I could use someone to speak to about all of it.

Charles, I hope you're doing okay after everything that's been happening. If I could see you sometime soon, outside of work, I would like that. I also have information about things we talked about before. I might have someone that can help.

The man that helped me with my daylight tattoo and so much of the magic I use returned recently.

This is far less formal than I would have made it but extending our contract was a success! In case you needed some good news today. ❤️

Make sure to check your desk before getting too involved with anything. It's important! XO Elle

[ What awaits Charles is a very elegant envelope with his name written in neat and curving script. Inside is a folded notecard. There is a simple hand-drawn design of green plants but inside is a hand-written note that reads:

[Continued from here]

[He had imagined many times that this conversation would be more fraught, or difficult at this point - and parts of it have been - but there's so much more promise, happiness, and fulfilment in it beyond that.

This kind, giving, and deeply compassionate man. There's a feeling of safety, and of being held, in the hands touching his, and in the way Kyle's looking at him now. It all amounts to a feeling that's immediately precious to him, and one that he'll hold in his mind and heart for the hours, days, and months to come.]

You won't lose a friend, [Charles promises, reaching out to lay his free hand atop the two grasping his other one, and gripping firmly.] We care too much about the same things [and each other] and have been through too much for that to be something I see happening-- or that I'll allow on my part. [It's an easy reassurance to make, and one he's determined to hold himself true to. His friendship with Kyle is just as important to him as the love he's grown to feel for the man, and to let the former go over disagreements or romantic mismatches over the ways either of them might choose to love or spend time with others would be a waste.]

[ Neve drops off a box of potions at the hospital with a little handwritten note attached: ]

C.,

As promised. They don't explode, I tested them. If they work for your needs, we can discuss payment for the next batch. I'll hope for all our sakes you don't have to go through them quickly.

-N.

[Fuck. The first time D'Artagnan had been here, he'd made it back to his home sufficiently on his own, without reason to seek assistance, nor fear of not doing so. He was a Dominant then, and hadn't been kept as long as they'd seen fit this time, waiting until he'd shown signs of obvious disturbance and discomfort, and until it had gotten dark, to send him back out in the cold, roughly, and he's quite certain they'd intended for him to slam his face against the icy sidewalk as they'd shoved him away from the entrance, but his reflexes weren't completely shot and he'd managed to catch himself, though his wrist aches now and the the ice and snow has seeped into his pants at the knees and shins, cold and damp. Scurrying away from the SLUT centre, he holes up in an alleyway, leaning against the frozen bricks and ankle deep in a snowdrift, digging out his device with shaking fingers, the tips already pale and half numb from the cold. He fumbles his way through calling McCoy, not his device, but mistakenly Haven's offices. He doesn't wait for a reply before he speaks once the there's a clicking noise on the other side, his tone flat and devoid of much inflection, but wavering with the cold.]

I should've told you before, I realise, but if you'd kindly come retrieve me from... the liberation centre.

[That's it, and he sighs sharply afterward, a shiver running through his spine, somehow hot even with the cold wall at his back, and he knows by the time McCoy arrives he'll be in an unfortunate state... Perhaps he should just take his chances, but, looking out the mouth of the alley at the dim street lights and darkness beyond, D'Artagnan knows he has little luck in these endeavours and he's trying to make better choices.]

When can I have your time? For an evening and then maybe the night? For a date. Dressed up and everything.

[ He's certainly not sending this because of a recent post. It's truly because he wants to see him outside of work and with planning and forethought to treat him right... and to make sure Charles knows he's not a burden and that Kyle wants to be part of all of his life. All aspects of it. ]

I'm sure you've heard about Kyle by now.

They're kicking me from his house at the end of the week but do you want to come round and take some personal items.

un: FrancisCrozier

un: FrancisCrozier

text ★ un: cocked tale

Mistlefoes continuation

Mistlefoe Continuation

Mistlefoe Continuation

Mistlefoe overflow

Mistlefoe overflow

Christmas Delivery!

text ★ un: cocked tale

a delivery

text; un: makeitpink

Present delivered to Charles's home address

hot or not cont. (if you'd like!) [perma private]

Text | un: LadyRogue