When can I have your time? For an evening and then maybe the night? For a date. Dressed up and everything.
[ He's certainly not sending this because of a recent post. It's truly because he wants to see him outside of work and with planning and forethought to treat him right... and to make sure Charles knows he's not a burden and that Kyle wants to be part of all of his life. All aspects of it. ]
There's a small place in the up that is like a speakeasy type vibe? Just cozy and quiet. Maybe some dancing? Just time together away from work and my house and the beach and just us?
That sounds divine. We can meet up right when the sun goes down, and go from there.
[Charles considers letting the text chain go there, but Anthony got in his head about his recent network post.]
Look, I... I should also say [an uncertain beat of silence] if you were worried, or otherwise affected by what I wrote to the network-- I apologize. That wasn't my intention, but it was brought to my attention that it may have been thoughtless on my part. [He still doesn't entirely agree with Anthony's interpretation, but if at least one person did interpret it that way...]
[ Kyle always wants time with Charles. He also knows his timing was likely very transparent. ]
Please don't apologize for seeking advice and help. I will always reach out to you for time and just to hear your voice. I think we need more proper dates because this place makes you forget those things sometimes.
I'm here for you but I'm less worried than curious. I think looking for feedback and putting things out there where you can't pretend they aren't part of your thoughts is a good thing. Especially for those that are used to being reserved and hidden.
I will say in so many words that nothing about you is a burden or ever will be, and if that did ever change you would be the first to know. We can talk about it tonight, if you want, or talk about anything else if don't want to.
[It wasn't transparent to Charles, but this did present an opportunity for him to try to step in and correct any potential mistake he might have made with his boyfriend. He trusts, down to his bones, that Kyle genuinely treasures their time together.
So Charles listens patiently, and in full, until Kyle's done speaking. And his only immediate, and touched, response is to reach out his hands to the other man's face, to press a kiss to his lips.
Stede, Aurora, and several others are all right - he needs to try to trust Kyle, and others, more, and give them credit that they can handle more than he's used to assuming they can. That he can ask if they're ready to handle hashing something out with him, or simply hearing his thoughts, rather than just assuming right off the bat that they can't.]
I love you, and I want both with you. Just some time to exist and do nothing of deep seriousness together, and to check in with one another.
I know you've been grieving for Sasha. Deeply, [he notes. There's a pause, as he tries to think about how to phrase some version of what Stede advised him to do in a case like this: with asking whether people are in the right headspace to be able to handle more than they currently are, or not.] Would something like the former feel like too much right now, in light of that?
[Because he's ready and willing to respect that, if it could be the case.]
[ This place makes everything harder than it should be on its own, even as much as Kyle works to embrace his time in this place. In part because of his feelings about this place and what happens to them, and in part because of the world he'd left behind.
Either way though, he does recognize he's not the only one having a time of it in this place and being there for others makes things easier. ]
It's always hard when it's someone returning to nothing. I don't know the details but I know Sasha was one of them. Now she's the first of two recently. I think those just hit me harder. Even if we don't know this isn't like our lives and when we pass they're gone. It still feels wrong giving them hope of more and then only a few years.
[ Kyle shakes his head, not even hesitating. ]
No, it's not too heavy and I'm here for you. Let me be here for you because I think I need that right now more than anything.
[That's reassuring to hear, directly. Kyle telegraphed as much to him earlier, but having it spoken to him straight allows Charles to give himself full permission to dismiss his own concerns. He nods, and reaches unconsciously for one of the other vampire's hands, wanting to be close to him right now.
For both their sakes.]
Two at once is difficult, [he agrees, wholeheartedly.] There's an irony in it, too, when people leave to return to death. They get closure without knowing it, but the people left behind don't.
[He won't allow himself, this time, to bury and ignore his own concerns in favour of trying to support his boyfriend. He needs to do better than that. But he also assumes the two don't have to be mutually exclusive.
There can be room for them both-- provided he, himself, allows it.]
[ He's quiet for a moment, considering Charles and knowing what he wants and needs right then. ]
When can you be free? We could have a talk before going out. Just curl up together on the couch and if you're up for talking about things, we can? I think we could really both use some time just the two of us and cuddling.
[As soon as the offer's on the table, Charles feels himself ache for it: to see the other man, touch him, and to be in his warm presence. To share in the comfort and unshakeable trust of their intimacy.
It's a feeling of a good kind of crumbling of the defences he keeps up around most others.
Charles almost says 'now' in response, but then tempers himself carefully, so that it doesn't come out as a demand. It would feel good to lean into Kyle right now, but he's committing himself to the idea of a moment of mutual support and love.]
How about now? I'm alone in Obsidian Port, but I can meet you anywhere you want.
[ It had nearly been Kyle's reaction to just ask where Charles was and go there, whether he was open for company or not. While he knows sometimes posts are just about letting things out, or working through them, he wants to show Charles that no matter what he's going through or how he's handling things, Kyle would be there for him.
So he's thankful to see that response. ]
Now's perfect. I could come over there if you're good with having a talk there. Otherwise, you know my place is always open to you.
[Charles considers that for a moment, and then lets himself take up the offer of visiting Kyle in the beach house. Something about the idea of feeling wrapped in the man and the space that's very him, is hard to resist right now.]
I'll come to you. I need about ten minutes, but I'll head in once I get there.
[Which he does, after they've said their goodbyes and ended their call.
When Charles arrives at the beach house and makes his way inside, he picks out the other vampire, wherever he might be sitting or standing. He'd planned, loosely, to approach in a calmer and more restrained way, but the intention falls away from him when sees Kyle settled in his own home.
This place, this house, this man, always feel safe. A relief.
Moving to Kyle, Charles wraps his arms about him in a hug.
It feels incredible.]
I think [No, not think. Did.] No-- I missed you. [Missed being like this with him, which feels different to seeing him almost daily at the hospital.
Things have been stressful for him lately, but this feels better. Already.]
[ Kyle sent back a message letting Charles know he'd be waiting, and he is when Charles arrives. Sitting on the arm of the couch, stroking Chewy's head where the massive dog was stretched out on the sofa.
As soon as he sees Charles though he's on his feet, meeting Charles and wrapping his arms around him. Drawing him in close, stroking his hand over his back even as the other gently cups the back of his neck. ]
Oh Love. You know you're welcome here any time you want, right? And I will always come to you whenever you want. Maybe we needed this date night idea sooner.
[ And he realizes how true it is. They need time together. Outside of Haven. Time planned together because Kyle wants to see Charles, to be near him whenever he can. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mattersofscience) wrote2016-05-31 10:57 pm
un: valenti
[ He's certainly not sending this because of a recent post. It's truly because he wants to see him outside of work and with planning and forethought to treat him right... and to make sure Charles knows he's not a burden and that Kyle wants to be part of all of his life. All aspects of it. ]
voice; @C.Saville
I could do tonight, certainly. Where were you thinking?
no subject
There's a small place in the up that is like a speakeasy type vibe? Just cozy and quiet. Maybe some dancing? Just time together away from work and my house and the beach and just us?
no subject
[Charles considers letting the text chain go there, but Anthony got in his head about his recent network post.]
Look, I... I should also say [an uncertain beat of silence] if you were worried, or otherwise affected by what I wrote to the network-- I apologize. That wasn't my intention, but it was brought to my attention that it may have been thoughtless on my part. [He still doesn't entirely agree with Anthony's interpretation, but if at least one person did interpret it that way...]
no subject
[ Kyle always wants time with Charles. He also knows his timing was likely very transparent. ]
Please don't apologize for seeking advice and help. I will always reach out to you for time and just to hear your voice. I think we need more proper dates because this place makes you forget those things sometimes.
I'm here for you but I'm less worried than curious. I think looking for feedback and putting things out there where you can't pretend they aren't part of your thoughts is a good thing. Especially for those that are used to being reserved and hidden.
I will say in so many words that nothing about you is a burden or ever will be, and if that did ever change you would be the first to know. We can talk about it tonight, if you want, or talk about anything else if don't want to.
no subject
So Charles listens patiently, and in full, until Kyle's done speaking. And his only immediate, and touched, response is to reach out his hands to the other man's face, to press a kiss to his lips.
Stede, Aurora, and several others are all right - he needs to try to trust Kyle, and others, more, and give them credit that they can handle more than he's used to assuming they can. That he can ask if they're ready to handle hashing something out with him, or simply hearing his thoughts, rather than just assuming right off the bat that they can't.]
I love you, and I want both with you. Just some time to exist and do nothing of deep seriousness together, and to check in with one another.
I know you've been grieving for Sasha. Deeply, [he notes. There's a pause, as he tries to think about how to phrase some version of what Stede advised him to do in a case like this: with asking whether people are in the right headspace to be able to handle more than they currently are, or not.] Would something like the former feel like too much right now, in light of that?
[Because he's ready and willing to respect that, if it could be the case.]
no subject
Either way though, he does recognize he's not the only one having a time of it in this place and being there for others makes things easier. ]
It's always hard when it's someone returning to nothing. I don't know the details but I know Sasha was one of them. Now she's the first of two recently. I think those just hit me harder. Even if we don't know this isn't like our lives and when we pass they're gone. It still feels wrong giving them hope of more and then only a few years.
[ Kyle shakes his head, not even hesitating. ]
No, it's not too heavy and I'm here for you. Let me be here for you because I think I need that right now more than anything.
no subject
For both their sakes.]
Two at once is difficult, [he agrees, wholeheartedly.] There's an irony in it, too, when people leave to return to death. They get closure without knowing it, but the people left behind don't.
[He won't allow himself, this time, to bury and ignore his own concerns in favour of trying to support his boyfriend. He needs to do better than that. But he also assumes the two don't have to be mutually exclusive.
There can be room for them both-- provided he, himself, allows it.]
no subject
When can you be free? We could have a talk before going out. Just curl up together on the couch and if you're up for talking about things, we can? I think we could really both use some time just the two of us and cuddling.
no subject
It's a feeling of a good kind of crumbling of the defences he keeps up around most others.
Charles almost says 'now' in response, but then tempers himself carefully, so that it doesn't come out as a demand. It would feel good to lean into Kyle right now, but he's committing himself to the idea of a moment of mutual support and love.]
How about now? I'm alone in Obsidian Port, but I can meet you anywhere you want.
no subject
So he's thankful to see that response. ]
Now's perfect. I could come over there if you're good with having a talk there. Otherwise, you know my place is always open to you.
text → action
I'll come to you. I need about ten minutes, but I'll head in once I get there.
[Which he does, after they've said their goodbyes and ended their call.
When Charles arrives at the beach house and makes his way inside, he picks out the other vampire, wherever he might be sitting or standing. He'd planned, loosely, to approach in a calmer and more restrained way, but the intention falls away from him when sees Kyle settled in his own home.
This place, this house, this man, always feel safe. A relief.
Moving to Kyle, Charles wraps his arms about him in a hug.
It feels incredible.]
I think [No, not think. Did.] No-- I missed you. [Missed being like this with him, which feels different to seeing him almost daily at the hospital.
Things have been stressful for him lately, but this feels better. Already.]
no subject
As soon as he sees Charles though he's on his feet, meeting Charles and wrapping his arms around him. Drawing him in close, stroking his hand over his back even as the other gently cups the back of his neck. ]
Oh Love. You know you're welcome here any time you want, right? And I will always come to you whenever you want. Maybe we needed this date night idea sooner.
[ And he realizes how true it is. They need time together. Outside of Haven. Time planned together because Kyle wants to see Charles, to be near him whenever he can. ]