( Fucking fuck he should have just told Charles to get out. Sure, the vampire's getting him another drink and that will help but... fuck he doesn't want to deal with this right now. He should just say why he's not up for this and why he's never touching this conversation again and just-- just move on and keep it all at arm's length for the rest of their time here. Or his life. Whichever comes last.
He scrubs his face with his hands and sighs heavily as he tries really hard to think of what to say. It's so hard when he's drenched in a cold sweat and all his instincts are telling him to get away from everyone right now. This is worse than touching some of this with Rosita, because at least with her they have a relationship. They know each other, and even though he's a fucking asshole and pain in the ass, he can trust her to tell the truth. And to get a lot of shit he's dealt with when she's been through similar. He doesn't fucking know Charles. This guy's got nothing but a single good fuck on a beach with him and their scrap in the Down together.
Why is he bothering? Why the fuck does Charles even care enough to try? His head hurts trying to puzzle it out even a little. Uggggggh. )
I don't do-- friends. With anyone. Not-- not just you. ( He takes a breath and shakes his head. ) Doesn't fucking matter why. I just don't.
( It does, but no fucking way he pulls himself together for someone he doesn't trust to explain his past and why his way is the only realistic way of living his life. )
no subject
He scrubs his face with his hands and sighs heavily as he tries really hard to think of what to say. It's so hard when he's drenched in a cold sweat and all his instincts are telling him to get away from everyone right now. This is worse than touching some of this with Rosita, because at least with her they have a relationship. They know each other, and even though he's a fucking asshole and pain in the ass, he can trust her to tell the truth. And to get a lot of shit he's dealt with when she's been through similar. He doesn't fucking know Charles. This guy's got nothing but a single good fuck on a beach with him and their scrap in the Down together.
Why is he bothering? Why the fuck does Charles even care enough to try? His head hurts trying to puzzle it out even a little. Uggggggh. )
I don't do-- friends. With anyone. Not-- not just you. ( He takes a breath and shakes his head. ) Doesn't fucking matter why. I just don't.
( It does, but no fucking way he pulls himself together for someone he doesn't trust to explain his past and why his way is the only realistic way of living his life. )